Element 115 (Uup) Lyrics
Kaleidoscope Eyes
Your eyes tell me it’s warm, tell me it’s safe to show you. Your touch bringing me in, melting the chill away. I’ll spare you the details of why it’s a big deal. It’s real. I’m floating on a wave. Kaleidoscope eyes take me up. I’m falling into you.
This time I’m a little afraid, cause I don’t do it this way. This heart pries open when you look at me. I’ll share all the details of why it’s a big deal. It’s real. I’m floating on a wave. Kaleidoscope eyes take me up. I’m melting into you. I’m falling into you…
Stars
…and I cry, and I laugh, and I see I have so much, yet I still want, and I get scared, but I’m brave, and I trust, and I doubt in bouts. These are me, parts of me. Hello. And I love big, and I give space, cause I need space, and I hurt and I fuck up, sometimes I fight, strive to forgive, and I retreat when it’s right, and I stay when it’s right. These are me, parts of me. Hello. No different from the rest of us; no more special than the rest of us humans– fumbling and courageous, fallible, contagious, just like us…and I like you, I like the way you look at me, and the way you make me feel, and your smile, and your walk, and your hair, and your eyes, and your laugh, and your and your curiosity, and the distant hazy mornings when we say hello. You’re no different from the rest of us; no more special than the rest of us humans– fumbling and courageous, fallible, contagious, just like us. We’re all pieces of the rest of us– stars…
Breathe
I heard it different this time. No sharp objects, but it pierced me. You didn’t mean to stab, I know, but please be more careful where you throw things. Arms out, there’s no flying backwards. Your heart is so expansive when you remember to breathe. I don’t always catch the obvious. I was trying to teach you how to love me. I didn’t mean to put a change on things. Like a perennial flower, let’s grow back. Arms out, there’s no flying backwards. Our hearts are so expansive when we remember to breathe. Let’s step in to this side. Ground soft, let’s welcome another. Bright sun, feels warm. Let’s not go back, or hold back, I can’t hold back. Arms out, there’s no flying backwards. Our hearts are so expansive when we remember to breathe. Let’s remember to breathe.
Tap Tapping Branch
…yes, i’m listening, is it very late? all i hear is charlie brown adult i really should do something with that branch that taps the windowpane in a rainstorm there’s a pretty color glistening in a bead of sweat that sits on your chest. you’re not happy. wish you could see it i think i should breathe. you were my lover not for very long it wasn’t perfect but we’d fine-tune it with time but you don’t have it and you’re so sorry and you’ve made up your mind…eyelids are falling shadow monsters waltz behind your head 1-2-3 i’m gonna run to the beach and dive into the biggest wave and float away tap tap what? -friends? sure let’s grab dinner next week- that beautiful bead that sits on your chest is moving i think i should breathe. you’re not my lover don’t i have a say? it was good from here you decided this without me how did i miss this cue? not good enough for you? you’ve made up your mind it was imperfect but we’re old enough to know aren’t we when something’s real tap tapping branch you’ve made up your mind. i’m not your lover...
Brass Ring
Each ½ creating this misunderstanding. One goes in circles, the other straight lines. Cannot untangle shape contradictions, it’s overlapping here, and there- a brass ring. Hold on.
Place at the table some rocks in a glass bowl. Drizzle the shapes from ceiling to floor. Shadows can form some understanding. Did you see it glisten, a brass ring? Grab on.
I don’t always know how to put things well. There’s always a choice, a way to brand new. We go ‘round and ‘round dragging memories. I lost my grasp then watched you slip through, and there was no holding on. I brought it here – it’s a gift if you want –with two open arms (just one clenched fist). I don’t hesitate, it’s just lack of grace, and confidence, and I’m a little afraid, so I held on. I don’t always know the best way la ti da and the nights are hard with the ghosts la ti da, I brought it as a gift la ti da, and you turned away la ti da. It’s mercurial. And we move on…
Innocent
Pull me out of this warm ground into that terracotta pot then put me in a closet and leave me. Well, I need water and I need sunlight to feed me. Sustenance. Pull you out of that cool sand into this wooden box then over-water you, how did you breathe? I need sunlight and you need cool breeze– challenging. Sustenance. Antonym. I like wild and you need pruning– confusing. Delicate. Complicate. Sustenance. Antonym. I wont want you. I wont test you. I don’t expect you. Let’s feed innocence. One and one, a silent agreed on, uproot mess, no you can’t go there – confusing. Complicate. Delicate. Process to the root we’re trying to, you go yours and I’ll go mine, much easier. Well I’m standing here, twisted hair, complicate, delicate. I wont test you. I don’t expect you. I wont want you ‘cause you don’t want me to. You’ve made yourself clear. OK, let’s play innocent
I Can’t Find My words
I haven’t meant to, but I’ve been punishing you to get some pride back. I didn’t think so, but I think I’ve been a little mean, the way you were to me. I’d like to think that I’m a big girl now, that I don’t harbor hurts, or sail ‘em around. I tell myself that I’m grownup now with words and anecdotes, and I spread ‘em around. I can’t find my words so I find a friend or a stranger to love me tonight. I can’t find my words so I pour another glass of wine.
I draw words in big balloons from catacombs of ancient tombs then scribble them with airplane etchings in the night sky. My voice is gruff from too much speech, with this altitude my arms feel weak, this heart’s exhausted from patching up the old air leaks. I wear my woman in a pride-like way, while mourning maternity, a hand I never played. I draw her up into a palisade and give a little royal wave– it’s all smoke and mirrors. I can’t find my words so I find a friend or a stranger to love me tonight. I can’t find my words so I pour another glass of wine. I can’t go with you cause I broke my back trying to drag you back, and it’s over anyway. I can’t find my words so I lavishly exhale you away. I can’t find my words…
Swimming Backstroke
I sit on a corner with a smoke in my hand trying to push it all down again but tears bubble up from the well again. You most certainly hurt this heart my friend. So I close my eyes and swim backstroke in the sea, teasing a little bit of love back to me after trusting too much and getting punched in the gut. I pull sunlight. I slug down another one drown it away, diving down to the bottom of me. The shadows you uncovered and the way that you left, you most certainly summoned some ghosts my friend. So I’m swimming backstroke in the sea, pulling in love floating all around me. I trusted too much and too naively. I pull sunlight. I'm floating outstretched with my heart toward the sun. I won't close up this wound til I’m totally done excavating the sludge at the floor of this wake knowing nothing's down there that can totally break me. And you don’t really know me. We're all complicated pieces of stars in a sea. I'm working at softer and listening more. I sit on a curb, there's an open door– I feel sunlight.
Nightingale
Childish heart wrestles a nightingale. Calm this tantrum, wait out the screams. Don’t pay mind to the words she yells. Sleep will come soon enough, steady now, breaking ground. Soon enough, song appears, perfect.
It awaits in the mirror pond. Permission to see. Ripples mask the underneath. Calm will come soon enough, song appears, steady now. It’s enough, what it is, perfect. You’re enough, as you are, steady now. Where we are, we’re enough, perfect.
Needle In the Groove
The breath comes in, consoles the stir, calms the bugs that crawl around inside me. Stomping on the ones that leave, echoes of the trickery inside me. Endurance test another learn. It takes so long and it burns inside. Say what you will, it’s a slow song, humility and grace. Say what you will, it’s a hard song about the missteps that I take. Change of focus another view, I’m very sad to leave this place and you. But in they come, and there they go–another gift? I’ll let you know. Helmet off, I wont look down; arms outstretched a slow touch down? Say what you will, it’s a sad song, another on the fire. Say what you will, we're a good song of love and letting go. Release this will, but the ego is so terrified still. If there is no want, there is no love song, there is no needle in the groove
Way To Stars
Flowers float up past my face again– falling. This old shovel in my hands, waiting to land –floorless. I want that straight up in the air hair stars on a body perfect toe point on a pin head. But I can’t do that dance when so many are falling. Seems privileged. Feels luxurious. I will remember soon the way to stars but right now I’m on the ground with the rest of us. Go to where the wind blows you, do these whispers lift you up? Never clip those pretty wings. I hope you land from time to time. I can’t take this flight with you now I’m weighed down by a soft cry for hope. Like most of us, I’m just getting by. I know I can’t keep us up, and I’m not even trying or dreaming or feeling. Breathing. Let’s forgive us now. I will remember soon the way to stars but right now I’m in love with the rest of us.
Falling Up
I just got home from seeing you and I’m feeling pretty good. It’s been a rough ride, but I’ll be fine. You asked me what my songs are about. I said more me than us, and scraping off the residue that kept me from forgiving you. I think I’m falling up. I might be falling up. I’m sad we wont love each other that way. At times I felt I did everything so wrong, but you can’t force a square into round no matter how much I wanted to. Think I’m falling up. Might be falling up. (…and I love big, and I’m brave, and there are pieces of me here and there.) I think I’m falling up. I am falling up.
Your eyes tell me it’s warm, tell me it’s safe to show you. Your touch bringing me in, melting the chill away. I’ll spare you the details of why it’s a big deal. It’s real. I’m floating on a wave. Kaleidoscope eyes take me up. I’m falling into you.
This time I’m a little afraid, cause I don’t do it this way. This heart pries open when you look at me. I’ll share all the details of why it’s a big deal. It’s real. I’m floating on a wave. Kaleidoscope eyes take me up. I’m melting into you. I’m falling into you…
Stars
…and I cry, and I laugh, and I see I have so much, yet I still want, and I get scared, but I’m brave, and I trust, and I doubt in bouts. These are me, parts of me. Hello. And I love big, and I give space, cause I need space, and I hurt and I fuck up, sometimes I fight, strive to forgive, and I retreat when it’s right, and I stay when it’s right. These are me, parts of me. Hello. No different from the rest of us; no more special than the rest of us humans– fumbling and courageous, fallible, contagious, just like us…and I like you, I like the way you look at me, and the way you make me feel, and your smile, and your walk, and your hair, and your eyes, and your laugh, and your and your curiosity, and the distant hazy mornings when we say hello. You’re no different from the rest of us; no more special than the rest of us humans– fumbling and courageous, fallible, contagious, just like us. We’re all pieces of the rest of us– stars…
Breathe
I heard it different this time. No sharp objects, but it pierced me. You didn’t mean to stab, I know, but please be more careful where you throw things. Arms out, there’s no flying backwards. Your heart is so expansive when you remember to breathe. I don’t always catch the obvious. I was trying to teach you how to love me. I didn’t mean to put a change on things. Like a perennial flower, let’s grow back. Arms out, there’s no flying backwards. Our hearts are so expansive when we remember to breathe. Let’s step in to this side. Ground soft, let’s welcome another. Bright sun, feels warm. Let’s not go back, or hold back, I can’t hold back. Arms out, there’s no flying backwards. Our hearts are so expansive when we remember to breathe. Let’s remember to breathe.
Tap Tapping Branch
…yes, i’m listening, is it very late? all i hear is charlie brown adult i really should do something with that branch that taps the windowpane in a rainstorm there’s a pretty color glistening in a bead of sweat that sits on your chest. you’re not happy. wish you could see it i think i should breathe. you were my lover not for very long it wasn’t perfect but we’d fine-tune it with time but you don’t have it and you’re so sorry and you’ve made up your mind…eyelids are falling shadow monsters waltz behind your head 1-2-3 i’m gonna run to the beach and dive into the biggest wave and float away tap tap what? -friends? sure let’s grab dinner next week- that beautiful bead that sits on your chest is moving i think i should breathe. you’re not my lover don’t i have a say? it was good from here you decided this without me how did i miss this cue? not good enough for you? you’ve made up your mind it was imperfect but we’re old enough to know aren’t we when something’s real tap tapping branch you’ve made up your mind. i’m not your lover...
Brass Ring
Each ½ creating this misunderstanding. One goes in circles, the other straight lines. Cannot untangle shape contradictions, it’s overlapping here, and there- a brass ring. Hold on.
Place at the table some rocks in a glass bowl. Drizzle the shapes from ceiling to floor. Shadows can form some understanding. Did you see it glisten, a brass ring? Grab on.
I don’t always know how to put things well. There’s always a choice, a way to brand new. We go ‘round and ‘round dragging memories. I lost my grasp then watched you slip through, and there was no holding on. I brought it here – it’s a gift if you want –with two open arms (just one clenched fist). I don’t hesitate, it’s just lack of grace, and confidence, and I’m a little afraid, so I held on. I don’t always know the best way la ti da and the nights are hard with the ghosts la ti da, I brought it as a gift la ti da, and you turned away la ti da. It’s mercurial. And we move on…
Innocent
Pull me out of this warm ground into that terracotta pot then put me in a closet and leave me. Well, I need water and I need sunlight to feed me. Sustenance. Pull you out of that cool sand into this wooden box then over-water you, how did you breathe? I need sunlight and you need cool breeze– challenging. Sustenance. Antonym. I like wild and you need pruning– confusing. Delicate. Complicate. Sustenance. Antonym. I wont want you. I wont test you. I don’t expect you. Let’s feed innocence. One and one, a silent agreed on, uproot mess, no you can’t go there – confusing. Complicate. Delicate. Process to the root we’re trying to, you go yours and I’ll go mine, much easier. Well I’m standing here, twisted hair, complicate, delicate. I wont test you. I don’t expect you. I wont want you ‘cause you don’t want me to. You’ve made yourself clear. OK, let’s play innocent
I Can’t Find My words
I haven’t meant to, but I’ve been punishing you to get some pride back. I didn’t think so, but I think I’ve been a little mean, the way you were to me. I’d like to think that I’m a big girl now, that I don’t harbor hurts, or sail ‘em around. I tell myself that I’m grownup now with words and anecdotes, and I spread ‘em around. I can’t find my words so I find a friend or a stranger to love me tonight. I can’t find my words so I pour another glass of wine.
I draw words in big balloons from catacombs of ancient tombs then scribble them with airplane etchings in the night sky. My voice is gruff from too much speech, with this altitude my arms feel weak, this heart’s exhausted from patching up the old air leaks. I wear my woman in a pride-like way, while mourning maternity, a hand I never played. I draw her up into a palisade and give a little royal wave– it’s all smoke and mirrors. I can’t find my words so I find a friend or a stranger to love me tonight. I can’t find my words so I pour another glass of wine. I can’t go with you cause I broke my back trying to drag you back, and it’s over anyway. I can’t find my words so I lavishly exhale you away. I can’t find my words…
Swimming Backstroke
I sit on a corner with a smoke in my hand trying to push it all down again but tears bubble up from the well again. You most certainly hurt this heart my friend. So I close my eyes and swim backstroke in the sea, teasing a little bit of love back to me after trusting too much and getting punched in the gut. I pull sunlight. I slug down another one drown it away, diving down to the bottom of me. The shadows you uncovered and the way that you left, you most certainly summoned some ghosts my friend. So I’m swimming backstroke in the sea, pulling in love floating all around me. I trusted too much and too naively. I pull sunlight. I'm floating outstretched with my heart toward the sun. I won't close up this wound til I’m totally done excavating the sludge at the floor of this wake knowing nothing's down there that can totally break me. And you don’t really know me. We're all complicated pieces of stars in a sea. I'm working at softer and listening more. I sit on a curb, there's an open door– I feel sunlight.
Nightingale
Childish heart wrestles a nightingale. Calm this tantrum, wait out the screams. Don’t pay mind to the words she yells. Sleep will come soon enough, steady now, breaking ground. Soon enough, song appears, perfect.
It awaits in the mirror pond. Permission to see. Ripples mask the underneath. Calm will come soon enough, song appears, steady now. It’s enough, what it is, perfect. You’re enough, as you are, steady now. Where we are, we’re enough, perfect.
Needle In the Groove
The breath comes in, consoles the stir, calms the bugs that crawl around inside me. Stomping on the ones that leave, echoes of the trickery inside me. Endurance test another learn. It takes so long and it burns inside. Say what you will, it’s a slow song, humility and grace. Say what you will, it’s a hard song about the missteps that I take. Change of focus another view, I’m very sad to leave this place and you. But in they come, and there they go–another gift? I’ll let you know. Helmet off, I wont look down; arms outstretched a slow touch down? Say what you will, it’s a sad song, another on the fire. Say what you will, we're a good song of love and letting go. Release this will, but the ego is so terrified still. If there is no want, there is no love song, there is no needle in the groove
Way To Stars
Flowers float up past my face again– falling. This old shovel in my hands, waiting to land –floorless. I want that straight up in the air hair stars on a body perfect toe point on a pin head. But I can’t do that dance when so many are falling. Seems privileged. Feels luxurious. I will remember soon the way to stars but right now I’m on the ground with the rest of us. Go to where the wind blows you, do these whispers lift you up? Never clip those pretty wings. I hope you land from time to time. I can’t take this flight with you now I’m weighed down by a soft cry for hope. Like most of us, I’m just getting by. I know I can’t keep us up, and I’m not even trying or dreaming or feeling. Breathing. Let’s forgive us now. I will remember soon the way to stars but right now I’m in love with the rest of us.
Falling Up
I just got home from seeing you and I’m feeling pretty good. It’s been a rough ride, but I’ll be fine. You asked me what my songs are about. I said more me than us, and scraping off the residue that kept me from forgiving you. I think I’m falling up. I might be falling up. I’m sad we wont love each other that way. At times I felt I did everything so wrong, but you can’t force a square into round no matter how much I wanted to. Think I’m falling up. Might be falling up. (…and I love big, and I’m brave, and there are pieces of me here and there.) I think I’m falling up. I am falling up.